Special Friendships

I was messaging with a friend yesterday and we talked about the special friendships that are rare but oh so wonderful.  The one we were discussing is the friend you have that no matter where you are, no matter how long it's been since you have spoken whether through email, telephone or?? it is like you just saw them the day before.

I have a few of those types of friends.  The friend I have had the longest is my friend Merel.  We became friends in late 1979 when we were both pregnant with our boys, Brandon & Jeremy respectively.  We met in La Leche League, our husbands were both in the military.  Ron and I were stationed at McChord AFB and Jim & Merel were at Ft. Lewis.  We each had a two year old toddler and were far from home and family.  We got out of the Air Force in September 1980 and Spring 1982 Jim & Merel pcs'd (permanent of station) to New Mexico.  We would not actually see each other till 16 years later in Spring of 1998 when Jamie graduated from the US Army basic training at Ft. Benning, GA.  I was blessed to be able to go to his graduation and spend three nights with Merel.  When we saw each other in the parking lot of the Econo Lodge it was like we had never missed a day of being together.  We laughed, talked and cried late into each night and beamed like two proud momma's at Jamie's graduation.  

We have been together three other times since 1998.  In 2003 when I was able to go and spend a week with Merel in her home (thanks to the generous gift from Ron) and the graduation of Jeremy from Boise State University and then Jeremy & Jennae's wedding which was also held in Boise.  We don't talk often on the phone, though we do go in spurts of phone calls.  We have laughed together, cried together as my parents and her daddy died, prayed for each other and our kids as they did dumb and scary things (Jamie going AWOL (dumb thing) and both of our sons serving in Iraq.  We have called each other in times of crisis (Merel going through a difficult divorce) and (giving birth to Opal at 29 weeks due to complications and health issues) and called to celebrate one making the call. each others joys - new grandbabies for me and a new man in Merel's life!  The one thing I do know is that no matter what is going on we can call each other and the other one will be there for

And then there is my friend Dee.  We have had a great friendship that started when I was working at Home Connection as secretary and she was the mom of a sweet teenage daughter attending classes at Home Connection.  The Lord brought us together as sisters in the Lord and now we are sisters in heart and soul.  We have cried with each other, laughed with each other.  We have been known to spend 6 1/2 hours at Wood's Coffee thinking we had only been there a couple of hours just talking, laughing and crying together.  We have fought with each other, misunderstood each other, hugged each other but most of all we have built our relationship based on love for Christ, love for our families and love for each other.  We encourage each other when the other is down and we have celebrated new adventures together (like us moving to Texas and her starting a new job!!!)  We laugh and cry over the antics of our kids and those wonderful husbands that we both have.  I say I have the best hubby in the world and she says she has the best hubby in the world ~ what we have decided is that we each have the best hubby that God has blessed us with!!  We each have two bio sisters and are so blessed that we are friend/sisters of the best kind - the ones God brought together.

Mary is another one of those friends where we just pick up where we are.  We each have ridden the roller coaster ride of emotions, husbands, children, parents, jobs which are all known as life.  We have faced hurdles that no one should have to climb over and yet through it all the Lord has brought us safely to the other side.  Our friendship has included hugs, tears, laughter and joy!  We can not see each other for months on end then sit down the table, share a cup of coffee and just love on each other right where we are.  We encourage each other with prayer and phone calls, emails and Facebook posts.    I can also say that I am the first one that has "gotten her" on Aprils Fools Day for the first time in many years.  I had posted a little sentence on Facebook and within an hour or so I had a message from her via Facebook and a phone call checking on me.  I couldn't let her worry so I had to call her and tell her what was going on.  But I swore her to secrecy till the end of the day!!!  Yep, we can even pull jokes on each other and laugh about it later.

Now that I have shared about these three special friends, don't think I don't have other friends because I do!!!!  I am so blessed with so many friends: sister friends, mom friends, aunti friends, grand-parent friends, girlfriends, writing friends, male friends, friends who have prayed with me and for me, friends we have done lots of things with and friends I have only met through blogland, friends who share their kids with us and let us be their grammy's and grandpa's.  Ron will even tell you I have my Irish boyfriend, my gay boyfriend and a few other guy friends.  We have couple friends and single friends ~ we/I are truly blessed to have the friends we/I have.  

I am so thankful for all the friends who are in my life whether they have been friends for years or even just a few weeks.  God is so wonderful to bless me with friends who are now my family.  Thank you Mary for giving me the inspiration to think about my friends and how blessed I am.  And thank you to all my friends who are part of my life.  Even if i don't write often or call often KNOW that I KNOW that I am blessed due to you being in my life.

The Verdict is In

Ron and I have watched much of the trial of Casey Anthony  in  the death of her little girl.  The verdict is in and she was found not guilty on the murder charges and guilty for hindering/lying to the police.  There have been lots of comments of shock and disbelief of news reporters and many people.  Ron and I have talked a lot about this case and the difficult decision the jury had to make.  And we saw/heard lots of things that the jury heard.  And we can agree that a little innocent girl is dead and that is what is so sad.

Below is what I wrote in response to a couple of comments on Facebook.

"I think the issue was proof beyond a reasonable doubt...I think if the jury were to talk they would say yes, she was probably murdered but there was not absolute proof that Casey Anthony committed the murder. Having been on a murder trial (for 8 1/2 weeks as juror #1) there are lots of questions that have to be answered to come to the final decision of guilty or not guilty.

Saying that I do hope that Casey takes this opportunity to turn her life around for good.

I think most importantly we need to remember this family is grieving the death of an innocent little girl."

Here is what we think allowed the jury to say there was not absolute proof but reasonable doubt:

1.  Casey was not the only person who had access to the car before and during the time that Casey was "supposedly" looking for her.

2.  Yes the jury knows Caylee died but there was no proof of how/when it happened.  Or who did it?   We believe it was probably an accident of some kind and that Casey panicked.  And then things snowballed out of control.

3.  Do we think someone(s) hid her body - yes!    We don't wish for a minute that we had sat on that jury - again, they had a real tough decision and questions that they had to answer.

About the jury - we are glad that they have chosen not to speak to the press.  When we, the jury, gave our verdict, we too made a joint decision to not speak to the media.  Our verdict was our answer.  Some of us chose to speak to both the prosecutor and defense lawyer after our decision was made public.  But only to say what evidence was missing and important.  I had two reporters call me the night of our verdict.  One of them asked why we were not talking to the press - because our verdict said our decision.  No amount of back peddling, second guessing or theorizing will give anyone an idea of what the jurors were thinking or what tipped them one way or another.

In closing, if anyone wants to dialogue this with me I am willing.  I don't want to fight with anyone but am open to hear your thoughts about this whole situation.

The bottom line whether we agree with the jury's decision is that a little girl is dead and her mom, maybe her dad if he knows that he was Caylee's dad, her grandparents and uncle are all grieving the loss of her little life in their own way.  And no one can tell someone how to grieve.  No one.  I would ask that we pray for the Anthony family - that the Lord will be real to them, that some how some way this family can be healed.

I hope I have not offended anyone, that is nor was not my desire.  I just needed to put my thoughts out there.